The Snowball Effect

A single snowflake lands on the snow. With a gust of wind it is carried along. It gathers other snowflakes to it (like attracts like) and as it moves it gets bigger. Its size now moves it further downslope and it gathers speed. It doesn’t not take long before it is hurtling down with a destructive force wreacking havoc in its path.

This can happen to me with a single negative thought about my pain. Let me give an example. I have overdone it and caused a pain flare up. Here is the potential progression of thoughts:

 

"I can’t believe I have done this to myself again. I should know better. I am so stupid. Now I need to get help with the (kids/house/work). I’m such a bad (mother/wife/friend). They must be so sick of me being like this. They probably hate me. I hate myself so why wouldn’t they? "

 

Anyway you get the idea? It was that first negative thought. I allowed it to attract more negative thoughts, continuing to catastrophise, I was then led on a destructive journey down a dangerous slope into self loathing and depression. And with this progression comes the associated physical reaction to these thoughts (stress, tension and more pain!). All from one single thought . One single mistake. My thoughts are powerful and this is my snowball effect.

 

When in this state my emotions are high (some would say even out of control!) and as a result my intelligence is low. I make poor decisions regarding my self-pain management techniques (e.g. choosing rest over movement, choosing to buy in to my unhelpful thoughts, choosing anger over just a simple acceptance of the way things are).

 

A less destructive approach is non-judgemental awareness of my own thoughts. I have control over what thoughts jump into my head, over what voices I choose to listen to. If I can stop a snowball at the snowflake stage I have the chance to break it down before it careers downslope. How do I do this? I need to be paying attention to my thoughts. A short breathing exercise or meditation might give me the clarity and awareness to deal with these thoughts. I can challenge or assess my thoughts before moving onto the next destructive level. Is this thought realistic or true? How can I be sure – have I asked that person how they feel? Is there another possible explanation? In addition to challenging the thoughts I also have an arsenal of more helpful thoughts that I can use to replace my initial unhelpful thought. As in my example above “I can’t believe I have done this to myself again” might become “habits take a while to be changed but it is possible” or “You are getting better at this, don’t give up”.  I can choose more helpful thoughts and be kinder to myself. Then the inner warmth will melt the snowball.

Once I have cleared out my headspace, I have the room and ability to implement the right actions. The pain still needs to be dealt with so I will go to one of the self pain management strategies that I know work – go for a walk, do some stretches, ask for help, pace planned activities etc.

It takes time and practice but snowballs do not need to gather strength and destructive force. A single snowflake can be a beautiful thing when it is simply observed.