As you may know I have been involved in #sugarfreeseptember.
It’s a challenge to give up refined sugar for the entire month and involves
posting a picture for each day based on a theme. Yesterday’s theme was fun. I
was having a lot of it. So much fun, I forgot to take a photo. There was plenty
of opportunity too. We had a very casual Sunday at home with the kids, in the
garden, preparing garden beds, we went for a walk to the shops, the sun was
shining. I cooked some delicious meals (pancakes for breakfast and chicken bone
both with vegetables for lunch). I even made some chocolate nut balls for the
sugarfree afternoon treat. But when dinner time came around, I was pooped. My
pain had increased, I was starting to feel a little nauseated and I wanted to
go to bed. Problem was I had two very wide awake kids, a mess in the kitchen
and no dinner prepared. I think I got lost between fun and not fun.
How to know when to stop? I am (obviously) still grappling
with this one. But here are a few hints and tips:
Timed tasks: Do you know how long this task will take?
Before starting, I need to assess how long it will take to set up, complete and
pack up a certain job. I also need to have an understanding of how much I have
left in the tank. This would involve an assessment of how much I have already
done in a day. If I believe I can do it
then I need to get the timer, pace out the activity with some short breaks
(whatever I have deemed my “activity” timing to be) and stop when it’s done
(and that does include time taken to tidy up or put tools/things away). If I
forget this important step then I am likely to complete the task but with a
mess left behind. This is the bit I always seem to forget but it can cause
trouble for me because it will result in loading up extra emotions (guilt,
inadequacy), requiring help or feeling of overwhelm. A timer (small kitchen
timer or your smart phone) can be the best device for ensuing you complete a
task, start to finish, with breaks and without overdoing it. Another thing I
have realised, if my tasks does involve the kids, they need to be warned in
advance the timing of the task. My kids often have more energy than me and they
might be fine to kick the footy for hours on end but I can offer them only the
time I have determined is suitable for ensuring I don’t cause a flare up.
Reality check questions: Here are a few reminder questions I
can ask myself to ensure I am fully prepared to undertake or continue a task at
any point in time. Does this really need to be done right now? This is not
meant to be a question to fool yourself out of completing a task you do not
like (no cheating!). I will often choose to do activities that I enjoy despite
the fact that I probably don’t have the energy left to complete them to a good
standard (i.e. finishing without the mess part). I am particularly susceptible
in the kitchen. I will choose to start baking when I really don’t have the time
or effort to complete it but I choose to because I want to eat that particular food
or have a healthy option available for my family. Does this task align with my
goals? This can be good for determining where my priorities are and how a given
task might affect them. By choosing a task that may flare my pain I need to be
aware of the impact it may have on my family (reduced time spent with them,
requiring their help to clean my mess).
Communicate: Sometimes the difference between fun and not
fun is a short break. Maybe you need to go do some stretches or have a quick
sit down. If you are having fun with others (your family, in social situations,
even in the workplace), don’t be afraid to communicate your needs in that moment.
“Do you mind if we sit down to keep talking?” or “Can we come back to this in
five minutes I just need to do some stretches”. This might be all it needs to
prevent slipping beyond fun.
It’s OK to say no: If you have done a timing assessment and
asked a few reality checks and you are not sure you can manage a task, don’t start.
Perhaps it is better to put off than get started and realise you have overdone
it. There is a very delicate balance between activity based goals (that is,
saying you are going to complete an activity regardless of pain) and not
overdoing it (completing a task at the risk of flaring pain). It’s a fine line
and it differs from day to day. The only way you can get better at knowing when
to stop is to be more aware and undertake tasks mindfully. And, I believe, the
most important part of any job is a mindful beginning, deciding whether or not you
should even start.
Acceptance: Again, I am always going to have to come back to
this. Sometimes I just make really bad choices, I haven’t done the timing or
the reality checks and I have pushed beyond fun. It is important I accept and
act in these situations. Apologise if I need to. “I’m sorry I made a bad choice”.
This is OK to say some of the time. I am getting better at this and it does not
happen as frequently as it used to. I need to make stronger choices once I have
realised my mistake but without layering on the additional emotional pain and
judgement. That will only make the situation worse.
So, when you are having fun what do you do to ensure it doesn’t
slide into “not fun”?
No comments:
Post a Comment