When we set an intention to begin meditation, it can be a
bit daunting. Am I doing it right? I am thinking too much? Can I move or must I
sit still? How long is long enough? I often would put off meditation practice
because I was afraid I wasn’t doing it “right”. Well, I am here to help because
there is no right or wrong way. Mediation is about connecting to your body and
about observing. I have put together a few tips to help you get started based
on my own experiences.
1. Commit to sit. Meditation is a practice. You cannot expect
to sit for an hour with existential bliss. Sorry. It is something that needs to
be cultivated and this can only come from practice. Daily repetition. Start by
deciding on a time that suits you. A time when you are unlikely to be
disturbed. I have two young children and they can disturb anytime so I understand
if this is something that might put you off. But there is always a time. I have
recently been getting up an hour earlier so I can have some undisturbed time to
start my day with a body scan. Avoid other distractions too by switching off
your phone or moving to a quiet space in your home. Like all things, start
small. The length of time is not as important as the consistency. Perhaps you
might like to start with 5 minutes of quietness. You can always build up from
there. Then, schedule it, set reminders, whatever you need to do but keep at
it, everyday. Every time you practice you will build some meditation muscles
and feel like, over time, you are getting the hang of it.
2. Diverted Interest. I used to think “I cannot meditate
because I am too distracted” I have shiny things syndrome and my mind is often
scattering from one thing to the next. In Buddhism they call it the monkey
mind. Imagine a monkey in a cage scampering around – always on the move. That
is a common state of mind for many of us. This is NOT a reason to not begin.
The trick comes by firstly, not seeing thoughts and distractions as a failure.
To achieve this, I recently flipped my thinking to be more helpful and
compassionate. It was with thanks to Sona Fricker at Breathworks.
On my recent retreat, he said that your mind will wander during meditation. The
reason it wanders is because it has found something more interesting. This
seems a much kinder way of putting it than to berate myself for being
distracted. Now, I just become aware whenever possible of my diverted interest,
and rather than get annoyed, I gentle escort my thoughts and attention back to
my breath. And the great thing is, each time I become aware of diverted
interest, is a moment of success in my mindfulness practice. I am observing my
thoughts.
3. Posture: There are no hard and fast rules about this. I
always envisioned that supple monk, cross-legged, sitting calmly on a hard
floor, yet looking totally relaxed. When I started, I twitched and got
uncomfortable and wanted to move and felt all tense and stiff. Then I
discovered posture is totally individual. The important thing is to be
comfortable. When you have chronic pain, this can be troublesome. Sitting for
long periods was always a thing to make my pain intensify. So you can use
pacing techniques to assist in getting used to the right posture. Don’t begin
sitting for an hour, just sit for as long as you can manage. And don’t be
afraid to alter your position. You can also begin to use your mindfulness
practice to observe any pain or discomfort as you are sitting. It is important
to be well-supported and if sitting, ensure your knees are below you hips. I
always struggled with sitting cross-legged because of my fused spine and stiff
joints. Solution: often I will lie down to meditate or I have found sitting in
a chair can be easier. So, try a few different postures and don’t feel like you
HAVE TO do it this way or that way. Just find whatever position is most
suitable for you at the time. 
4. Let it go. I often had some form of expectation or result
from my meditation but I have learnt that this is exactly what I need to let go.
My problem was often going into a formal meditation practice feeling relaxed
and then coming out stressed! Why? Because I would beat myself up about my
“mistakes”. Each time my interest went elsewhere (see – even now I have stopped
saying distracted!), I got annoyed. Each time I felt stiff or sore, I was
annoyed. Each time I stopped before my pre-determined time, I was annoyed. Add
to that, the mental chatter that I felt I would never be able to control. The scattered and random thoughts – even
though I was taking notice of them, still seemed to annoy me. Mindfulness is
all about observing without judgement. Any physical sensation, thought or
emotion that comes along is absolutely fine. Just observe it –do not then
assign judgment (good or bad) or place too much emphasis on it. Just keep
observing or return your focus to your breath if this is possible for you. Here it may also be useful for you to label
any thoughts or feelings, for example, “I am having the thought that I am
hungry” or “I feel a slight twitch in my eye”.
5. Keep at it. How do athletes get to the elite level? How do
musicians become ready for a big performance? Practice. Do not think you will
sit for an hour completely distraction free right from the word go. Practice is
key. Keep coming back, time and again. Even within a meditation session. You
may need to remind yourself a few times, maybe many times. Each time you return
to your attention or to your formal practice, you are building up the neural
pathways that will strengthen your awareness abilities. You are building mental
muscles each time you sit, so keep at it.
6. Get help. I have included some books below that were really
helpful for me. I have also attended some meditation workshops and retreats. If
you want to get started but are unsure, there are so many resources out there.
I also found sometimes at the beginning I was struggling with extended
silences. I think this is pretty normal. In our fast paced world, we find it
hard to unplug. We are so used to “doing” and rarely just “being”. But I have
found a good success from using guided meditations. Initially, I thought this
was a sign of failure but getting a guide and starting with some help means you
can introduce the concepts and ideas slowly. I have found it really useful.
So, to finish off, why not just give it a go, stop right now
and just take some slow, breathes with awareness – hey, you are meditating!
Best of luck, please let me know any stories, experiences, tips or tricks that
you have.
Wherever You Go, There You Are
You Are Not Your Pain: Using Mindfulness to Relieve Pain, Reduce Stress, and Restore Well-Being---An Eight-Week Program
Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children: Becoming a Mindful Parent
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