Thursday, 26 May 2016

Stop waiting to be happy


Last year I wrote this post about waiting to be happy for Julie Ryan over at Counting my Spoons.
I thought I would share it here. I hope you like it!

Have you ever thought this “When I’m ...., I’ll be happy”? You can insert whatever you are looking forward to, dreaming about or convinced will make you happy into this statement. Maybe when I get a new job, when I have a baby, when I find a partner, when I pay off my house, when I loose weight or when I am pain free. When I was really at my lowest, when I was overwhelmed by everything, consumed by pain and depressed, I often thought “When my pain is gone, I’ll be happy”. I was refusing to be happy until I could be pain free. But I was so irrationally blinded by my pain that I could not see the beauty in the little things. There was very little likelihood I was ever going to be pain free...so why deny myself the opportunity for happiness?

Six years ago, I did finally choose to accept that pain is a part of who I am. I made a strong commitment then to address the lifestyle factors that contributed to my pain and find solutions. I also chose to find happiness. I have so much in my life to be grateful for and to bring me joy. In fact, I’ve recently compiled a shortlist of a few basic things in my life that make me happy. These are not things I need to wait for, they are just experiences, moments in time that I can enjoy any and every day, if I choose to. 

This list is nothing to do with pain and can be experienced and enjoyed even when in pain.
·         A snuggle with a loved one
·         “Funny time” – in our family this is some time spent tickling or being silly – anything to generate a giggle or a good belly laugh
·         A walk outside
·         Enjoying some fresh wholefoods
·         Just doing something, ticking some small thing off my to-do list
·         Writing – I find by getting some of my thoughts onto paper I can clear the headspace
·         Watching or listening to my kids in their imaginative play (better still, getting involved – unfortunately usually I have to be the scary monster!)
·         Having a bath
·         Powering the mind by listening to a good podcast (my favourites are from The Wellness Couch)
·         Reading a book (escape the real world in fiction or get something motivational!)
·         Getting a massage
·         A coffee/cup of tea and a sweet treat - enjoyed alone or with friends, at home or lashing out at a cafe!



So, if you want to make a commitment to stopping and enjoying those little moments too, why not join me in the #slow30challenge. I am doing this now but it can be done anytime. Spend a few moments everyday slowing down and enjoying something from your own happiness list. Don’t wait around for something to happen, just seek joy in the little things and be happy now, today, in this moment. So what are you waiting for? Don’t deny yourself the right to be happy, you always can make the choice to be happy.